oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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