Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
