We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
