i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
So vagazzling was a success
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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