it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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