Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
