ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
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