i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I'm going to jail i love you
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
