the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
