He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
