Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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