were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
