yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
