Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
