I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize