He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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