the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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