i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
