If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
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