we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
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