Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
this is an emotional support booty call
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
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