Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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