Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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