haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
