halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
