She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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