Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
The air taste purple.
Randomize
