I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
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