I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
