I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
