Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
