Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
