well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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