me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
