i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
