Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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