Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
