using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Randomize
