how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
