when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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