just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
