i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize