Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
