...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Duck Duck Cougar?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
