im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Randomize
