we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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