I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
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