Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
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