So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
