He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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