Buhtt sex?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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