hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I think a kid would responsible me up
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
