Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
