Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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