Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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