carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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