i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
