just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
