seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
